How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
