I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize