I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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