i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.