i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
home. puking in laundry basket.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
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And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
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Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator