Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
