I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
even my farts smell like vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize