I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How does one acquire holy water?