well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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