You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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