just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize