You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize