Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
