Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
