They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
