I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
