you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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