I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
