I'm going to rape someone's good day.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
