As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
