You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize