just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
