dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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