Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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