Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Of course I have a pirate flag
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
