you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
