Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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