Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
