I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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