I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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