I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize