Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
