I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.