i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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