Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy