My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.