We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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