Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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