she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
