this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
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Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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