Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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