Don't you send me to vm
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize