p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
