i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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