yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
