alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize
