eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
