I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
