I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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