i just google imaged poop.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
