I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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