Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize