Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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