Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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