just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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