I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize