i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
