i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
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i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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