It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
