are you still at the devil's house?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize