I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
