Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
