Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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