marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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