I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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