I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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